Girl Logic #1: Pictures

Girl logic: “I will post a picture of myself in sweatpants and my hair up with the title of Ugly/Lazy/Messy/Gross/Don’t Care/Whatever Day. This way people have to tell me I’m pretty… Right? RIGHT?! That way my self-worth is actualized without trying through other people’s pity! Yay!!!” Sigh… I just don’t understand girls… and I am one damn it… No wait… I’m a lady so never mind :p

In all seriousness whenever I turn on my Facebook girls that I used to go to high school with, and sometimes are still in high school themselves, bombard me with their stupid, fuzzy, bathroom photos of them in crappy workout clothes. It’s all fine and well if you want to have a lazy day but do you have to tell me? It’s like they are warning me because the shock will be too much. “Watch out world! I’m being crazy!!! My normally cute and delightful self is wearing… sweat pants!” Gasp!! Dun Dun Dun Dunnnnnn!!!! “And my hair is in a messy ponytale/bun/clips/something!” Oh the horror!!!!!!

It doesn’t stop there, oh no! There are the close up pics, the sexy face pics (that just make you look like you have gas), the god damn duck face, the thoughtful pictures, and the list goes on of the stupid faces girls do to be “pretty”, “sexy”, or “intelligent”. No. Just no. You do not look like any of these things, you look dumb and like you will be without a boyfriend til college. I admit to have doing these myself… except the duck and sexy face, that’s just dumb. I am usually smiling and looking thoughtful in my pictures, but they are always used for my profile picture (not that it makes it any better). These girls post their face over, over, over, and over until they have around 5,000 pictures of almost the same god damn pose… and they never use them for their profile. It’s just so their ego can get a boost when people say they are gorgeous, pretty, or B-A-U-tiful! If you go to my duck face post you will see in depth why I think the reasons these girls do this… because they weren’t told they were beautiful and intelligent  growing up… which is really sad. I don’t hate the girls that do these things, I am frustrated with the fact that they think they need to do these things for attention. It’s like if they don’t they aren’t worth other people’s time. If they aren’t recognized, they aren’t people. There bodies and faces are where their worth is. I think that’s wrong, it’s good to be proud of your body and show it off, but show off your intelligence too.

Then of course there are the girls who take the “candid” pics at parties. “It’s like oh look a camera!! Let’s make the weirdest faces possible!! We will look so ugly, it will be funny, because ya know, we are soooo pretty.” Then they just end up looking like they have a booger they can’t reach… with their tongue… They don’t even look ugly, just confused most of the time.. which I think they are. There are always thousands of these pictures too. “I need a pic with everyone at the party!!!! Cuz if you ain’t with me you ain’t coo!”

I really wish Steve Irwin was still alive and did a documentary on the habits of girls. “And here we are observing a high school girl of about 15 in her natural habitat… the bathroom… let’s see what happens when we set some bait.” Sets camera phone down. “Oh.. Oh.. she’s taking the bait! Now lets see what she does! Oh my goodness this is a rare sight this is! To catch her in action… taking a picture with duck face and sweats! In the reflection of the mirror!!! Oh my goodness this is a day for science! Now she is uploading to Facebook, what’s the picture’s name? Surprise! It’s ‘Still Sexy In Ma Sweats (look out boyz)’ Oh yes, I can’t believe this footage.” *gold star if you read it in Irwin’s voice*

Whatever happened to smiling nicely with your friends to show you had a good time? Do we need thousands of photos of you eating out? Just a pic of your face every day in the same position is irritating… if you’re going to model for us at least make it interesting… but not interesting where it’s a different color of the same pose… or the same pose from far away.. god if I have to always see your face at least make me appreciate it!! I’m beginning to want to act on the thoughts in my head and call you goofy looking or worse…. jeez louis….

So for the love of god, please, pleeeasseeeee, take nice pictures or if you’re not going to smile just don’t do the same thing every time…. get an eye patch or something to cause interest…. like a puppy!!!! That’s the one think I will never get sick of, if you pose with your dog I will like the shit outta that pic!

I do admit to being the person who takes a tooon of pictures at events. I take pictures when people aren’t looking or when their mouths are open… ya know for umm… realll pictures. I feel like a person on a safari when I do it too. It’s a great time. 

So next time you reach for your camera/phone to let the world know how you look that day and it’s awful, or you’re going to have a “sassy, sexy” face… please don’t. Pose with a beautiful smile and a book because intelligence with a smile is beautiful, cute, and sexy all rolled into one. 


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